You Know They Love Their Car When . . .

— they’ve used more than 3 rolls of high quality duct tape to hold it together.

— its rear deck holds more than 112 troll dolls.

— their vanity plates read ‘MYBABY’ or any variant thereof.

— its interior upholstery, body paint, mud flaps, and wheel covers are all color-coordinated to the same champagne tint of the driver’s shoes, wardrobe, handbag and dyed hair.

— they’ve spent more than one year’s rent on its sound system.

— it possesses fuzzy dice, an astrological window decal and a hood scoop.

— there are more than 63 obscure band decals affixed to visor, hood, roof, quarter panels, bumpers, seat backs, etc.

— it is a seafoam green hybrid with a bike rack, four national park stickers and a Sierra Club decal.

— you notice its padded pleather landau roof, gilt coach lanterns, spinners, curb feelers and hood-mounted longhorns.

— each toddler onboard has its hands encased in Ziploc bags to preserve the freshly-detailed look and smell.

— the gas cap has a lojack.

— they always park at the extreme perimeter of the mall parking lot, diagonally across 3 spaces.

— it displays a 7-color paint job that appears intentional.

— their initials are monogrammed on the driver’s door.

— it cost over ,000, yet gets only about 12 miles to the gallon.

— they are wearing any attire prominently displaying the auto maker’s logo.

— the car body bears multiple season’s worth of Bondo, primer, baling wire, sheet plastic, bungee cords and miscellaneous pieces of treated lumber.

— they haul out the car tarp when they stop at the Post Office.

— it has a wooden-bead driver’s seat cover, mariachi balls ringing the ragtop, and a neon glow ringing the chassis.

— it is a monstrous and horribly over-accessorized luxury crossover with decals from Hilton Head, Palm Springs, Martha’s Vineyard, and/or Sedona.

— it features any 3 of the following: a spoiler, pace car markings, naked lady mud flaps, a pirate flag, the number of Dale Earnhardt’s car, a bong, a firearm of any make or caliber, and any bumper stickers containing profanity, drug references, whiskey brands, misogynistic messages or any combination thereof.

— it has knitted doilies for headrest covers.

For 10 years many people have asked legitimate questions about the September 11th attacks only to be ridiculed and ignored. So in the face of the government and media barrage surrounding the anniversary, we are meeting the general public on their own infantile level, fighting absurdity with absurdity in the form of this parody cover of Rebecca Black’s pop culture phenomenon “Friday”. Buy the MP3: is.gd LYRICS: Ooh, 9/11, yeah, 9/11 7 am, waking up in the morning Got a phone call, turn on the TV Terrorist attack, in NY and DC Fear in the streets, buildings imploding As they’re coming down, everybody’s running Back of my mind, something’s not right How’d they turn to dust, in 10 seconds? Bush is reading school books To a group of children How did the Secret Service Know he wasn’t in danger? It’s Tuesday, Tuesday False flag Tuesday Everybody’s jumping out the windows, windows Tuesday, Tuesday Wag the Dog Tuesday Why do you think they hit the Pentagon’s empty side, empty side? Explosions, explosions Demolitions, demolitions Dead, dead, dead, dead 3000 pawns are now dead Ten forty-five, and their work’s almost done War games got NORAD to stand down Cheney barking orders from an underground bunker Just ask Norm Mineta Cell phone calls, impossible From those speeds and altitudes BBC, Silverstein Building 7 Picking up a passport That survived the fireball Falling to the street below Who thinks of this s***? It’s Tuesday, Tuesday 9/11 was on Tuesday Molten metal boiled below for …
Video Rating: 3 / 5

Tags: custom flag, Know, Love

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